8 March 2026

Contrary Virtue: Admiration (vs. Envy)

Philippians 4:8-13

Some people seem to think that we preachers spend all our time up here in the pulpit nagging people about sin. Nothing could be further from the truth. Honestly, morality is probably what I preach on the least often, and I suspect that’s true of a lot of preachers. It’s too risky. For starters, no matter how delicately we try to phrase things, we’re likely to come across as judgmental, and that just doesn’t play well today. Worse, we know that if we go on record condemning some behavior, then there will be no grace granted us if do that thing. And that does happen sometimes. Surveys show that 62% of pastors admit that they are still sinners. (The other 38% are liars, so that’s all of us.) So preaching on morality is dangerous. 

And yet, if we let the fear of being called a hypocrite keep us from even talking about moral behavior, we’re not doing all our job. Somehow we have to find a way to talk about morality and come across as fellow strugglers, not authorities. It is possible. Paul sometimes managed it. In Romans 12, Paul gives a wonderful summary of patient, selfless, loving Christian behavior that sounds very much not like Paul, but he gets away with it because back in Romans 7 he had made it clear that he wasn’t very good at actually doing those things. “The good that I want to do I don’t do; the bad that I don’t want to do, that’s what I do.” So anyway, as we come to the fourth Deadly Sin – envy – know that I’m offering suggestions to myself as well. Let’s read some more Paul. We read from Paul’s letter to the Philippians, chapter 4, verses 8-13.

8Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.

10I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned for me, but had no opportunity to show it.  11Not that I am referring to being in need; for I have learned to be content with whatever I have.  12I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need.  13I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

What are we talking about when we say “envy”? One way to get at that is to compare it to greed, which we talked about two weeks ago. Greed is the obsessive desire to have what one doesn’t have. It is the unquenchable lust for more. Envy is like that, except that it is specifically wanting what somebody else has. Greed is measured by counting; envy by comparing. 

What both sins have in common is that they are desperate attempts to fill a perceived emptiness. It is part of the human condition that we are not satisfied with the way things are; we have a sense that there should be something more in our lives. Now, as a Christian, I would say this is a good thing. This awareness that something is missing was placed in us to point us to God, and a relationship with God is the only way to fill that perceived hole in our lives. That’s what I say. So what about people do who don’t believe in God? What do they do with that emptiness? Greed whispers in the human ear, “You’re not satisfied with the material blessings of this world because you don’t have enough! If you had more, you’d be happy.” That’s a demonstrable lie, but at least it’s a straightforward lie. Envy takes a more tortuous path. Envy whispers, “Look at that person! The one with the bigger house, the better figure, the more successful husband, the better-behaved children! Look at how she can make perfect sourdough bread while helping her children with their homework after she gets home from her prestigious job! That person has it all! She’s happy. You should be like her.” (By the way, this also is a lie. That perfect person’s Christmas letter and Facebook page describe someone who doesn’t really exist.) Envy is subtler and sneakier than greed, and if anything it’s more dangerous. Greed can make a person indifferent to others in the single-minded pursuit of wealth. Envy makes a person hate others. That may be why this is the only one of the Deadlies that also gets a mention in the Ten Commandments: Thou shalt not covet.

So, as we’ve looked at these sins, we have been asking what is their opposite. What is the opposite of envy? It seems like it would be “contentment” – being satisfied with what you have. In fact, when I outlined this sermon series, that’s what I put down as today’s title. But that’s not really adequate. To say that the opposite of envy is being content with what you have is basically saying that the opposite of envy is not being envious. Which is true, but not helpful. How do we get there? What is the positive thing that we can cultivate that will not leave room for envy to grow? Let’s look back at our reading from Philippians. First, some background. Paul wrote this letter at a time when he had nothing. He was in prison, maybe in Rome. Earlier in the letter he acknowledges that he might be executed soon. And he might have been right. We know he was eventually executed in Rome, so this could have been written just before his death. From an earthly perspective, he’s pretty much at rock bottom. The Philippian church has sent him a letter, along with a care package, though, and as Paul writes his reply, he acknowledges that gift: 

10I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned for me, but had no opportunity to show it.  11Not that I am referring to being in need; for I have learned to be content with whatever I have.  12I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. 

So, first, that’s interesting thank you note. Paul basically says, “Thanks for the gift. It was nice of you to think of me, even though I don’t need it, because I’ve learned to be content with nothing.” So, not hugely tactful. But if he’s telling the truth, he has overcome the desire for things of this world – which would mean he’s overcome both greed and envy.

But how did he get to that point? Look at the start of our passage: Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Now this might sound as if Paul is just saying that we should think positive thoughts, and if we just focus on the positive, we can manifest them. He isn’t. That’s not Paul. That’s the American cult of Positive Thinking. No, I think Paul’s saying something deeper than that. He’s saying, I don’t worry about my physical circumstances so much, because I have learned to place a greater value on things that cannot be taken away from me.

Let’s do a thought experiment. Think of someone who has things that you wish you had: maybe a bigger house or a better singing voice or a cooler car or a lakefront property with a boat or a Nobel Peace Prize or a better job or anything that you’ve always wanted. Now, when you thought of that person, did you feel a pang of envy? I did. Now think of someone who is kinder than you are, more generous, more compassionate, more trustworthy, more courageous. When you thought of that person, did you feel envious? I didn’t. I felt admiration, maybe even felt a little inspired. The fact that this person is better than I am at these things didn’t make me resentful. I’m just glad somebody’s like that. 

What is the difference there? Why does envy focus on the least important things in life? And why is it, when it comes to the most important things in life – the things that actually matter to God – it’s almost impossible to feel envy? Maybe it’s because things like honor and generosity are not limited in availability. The fact that someone else is more compassionate than I am doesn’t mean that there is less compassion to go around, that they took some of my compassion. I can still be as compassionate as I want. I lose nothing because someone else is braver than I. Indeed, my life is made better because such people exist. Why would I resent that? 

So to try to bring this back to where we started, what is the opposite of envy? I don’t think it’s to stop wanting what other people have. I think it’s to begin wanting different things that other people have. Or rather, it’s to begin wanting things that aren’t things at all, but rather are attributes, traits, qualities. It’s to begin looking at people not in terms of what desirable things they possess but in terms of what desirable qualities they demonstrate. If we can learn to do that, we will suck all the air out of envy and replace it with admiration and gratitude. So here’s your challenge for this week: make a list – even just a mental list – of people who are more admirable than you. Not richer, not smarter, not more talented. People who are more true or pure or just or compassionate. And when you’re done, give God thanks that those people are.

Before I close, just one more question. Eventually Paul gave us some valuable wisdom. Did he live up to his own teaching? Did he always set his mind on what was true and just and commendable and praiseworthy? Um, maybe he was doing it when he wrote Philippians. But in other letters, Paul can be irritable, cranky, vindictive, snarky, and in 1 Corinthians I think he’s definitely envious of Apollos and his la-di-dah master’s degree in rhetoric. So, no. Paul doesn’t always live up to his own excellent advice. In that sense, he’s a hypocrite. 

Thank God for that. All the rest of us hypocrites who talk a much better game than we play are glad to have his company. Let’s pray:

God, thank you for those who are wiser than I am:

who talk less, and still somehow say more,

who are quick to listen and slow to anger. 

I need people like that around me. They make me better.

God, thank you for those who are more compassionate than I am:

who listen to what people are saying, not just to the words they utter.

I need people like that around me. They make me better.

God, thank you for those who are more faithful than I am:

who trust that you are at work even when you are hidden,

who are not surprised by answered prayers.

God, I need people like that around me. They make me better.

You have surrounded us with saints, past present and future. Let our eyes rest on them – the honorable, the commendable, the pure, the just – and so let our minds find rest. Amen.